I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
