sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize