Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
