I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
