why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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