you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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