It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize