On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
