Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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