Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
