Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
