whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
