She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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