This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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