I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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