Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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