I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
