you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
