Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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