i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
