well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
