im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
