so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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