Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
