At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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