I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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