How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
