Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
worst night to have a conscience
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There r osticjed everywhere
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
