sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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