"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
