My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
