It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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