then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
