Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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