White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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