my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
