he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
