I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
That accounts for only three of the penises
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
