yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
