i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
