READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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