the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
