you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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