Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
