Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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