im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
