i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
