right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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