Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
