He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
