Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
third nipple confirmed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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