A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize