Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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