I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize