So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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