First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
