sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
