I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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