Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
