It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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