were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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