so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
