Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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